Any anyone who knows me, knows that I’m an introvert who’s much happier staying home or just hanging out with my hubby and the closest friends. Also ask anyone who knows me for a long time, and they’ll tell you that, even though in my core I’m still the same, the way I act and live my life has changed since I was in school. And I will tell you that I’m happier for it.
Getting out of my comfort zone has always been a struggle for me, as I know it is for many people. It is probably especially true of many writers, who often are introverts who shy away from anything social or uncomfortable. Writing allows, and sometimes even calls for, a more solitary time than some of the other activities.
There were a few things that happened over the course of my life that allowed me to overcome my fear of being in more social situations and to become, if not more extroverted, more comfortable with those situations. As a result, my world expanded and I met amazing people and learned things I wouldn’t otherwise. It let me grow as a person.
One of those things was my participation in karate. I had to learn to be more self-confident for myself first, then to compete (probably there hardest part for me), and finally to teach. I met so many good interesting people that are now a big part of my life through these activities, including my dearest soul friend (who became my co-writer and then my business partner). The next thing was having to become a trainer at my job, teaching new staff how to work with the CRM database.
Eventually, all these activities and experiences led to me getting out of my comfort zone as a writer and a publishing business owner by going to conferences (big and small), and even leading workshops and sitting on editor and agent panels. Today, I look forward to going to these events and meeting writers and industry professionals. And even though I still may get a little nervous from time to time, at the end of each conference and event, I feel great – inspired and re-energized. Feeling this way is worth being a bit nervous.
What can you do as a writer to get out of your comfort zone?
1. Connect with other writers on social media. It’s almost impossible nowadays not to be on social media in some shape or form. You don’t have to be on all of them. Choose one that you like the most. Facebook Groups are a great way to start connecting with like-minded authors, learn craft and find out about the world of writing and publishing. There are numerous groups, you can always find a few that fit what you’re looking for or are interested in. You may wonder why I’m talking about social media when I was just talking about getting out of your comfort zone. There are multiple reasons, but one that I especially want to bring up is the fact that often connections and friendships that you make online become real-life friendships in time. I have seen this many times. And guess what – if you have been speaking to someone online for years and then finally meet them at a conference, you will feel like you have friends, someone to hang out to, at these events so it’s not as nerve-wrecking. Bonus, right?
2. Go to conferences and workshops. Start slow. It doesn’t have to be the huge overwhelming ones right away. And I won’t’ like, the really large ones are overwhelming even to seasoned conference-goers! Find some smaller local events where you can drive to and spend a day, or even just a few hours visiting. Don’t want to interact much yet – going to workshops and lectures is a great way to get knowledge without necessarily participating. Having said that – force yourself to ask even one question or offer even one note if the workshop teachers call for it. You’ll be on your way to getting out of your comfort zone and making new friends! Once you’re comfortable with the smaller local events, allow yourself to attend a large one and make it your goal to network and make at least a few connections.
3. Getting more comfortable with going to conferences and writing events? Have things to offer, to teach? Why not put in a proposal for a workshop or to be part of a panel? Believe it or not, people are there to absorb any information they can get and they will appreciate anything you can teach them that will help them in their own careers. You would be surprised how fun these workshops and panels can get and guess what – nobody is going to boo you or roll their eyes. I promise.
4. Hang out with more extroverts. I can tell you based on my personal experience that they rub off on you. Between my husband, the ultimate social extrovert, my best friend and my boss, I’m surrounded with them, and when I hang out with them, I definitely feel more relaxed and easy-going in company.
5. Talk to industry professionals. Most of them are people who want to help others in their industry. Don’t be afraid to connect with them and ask questions (at appropriate times, of course).
There are many other ways that a writer can get out of their comfort zone but the goal is the same – expanding your world, making wonderful connections and developing yourself as an individual. Each time, you will feel fulfilled and proud that you did it. I promise.
What are the ways that you get out of your comfort zone? Leave me a comment.
